A sad day...

Today was a sad day for me...

I was downtown shooting a high school senior. As I was driving back, I saw a little girl briskly walking on the side of the street. This was an immediate red flag to me, so I stopped. I got out of my car, and walked up to her, and asked her if she was OK. She said no, and kept walking... I followed her and asked her where her mommy or daddy were, and she said at home. I then asked her where she was going, and she said she was looking for a new place to live. she didn't have a coat, only a t- shirt, and thin pants with flip flops. It was very chilly today downtown, and to think that she had been out there without a jacket was awful...not to mention the fact that she was alone, and had apparently run away from home. I asked her to sit with me on a nearby step, and started asking her more questions.

I asked her why she was by herself downtown, she replied "because nobody cares". I asked how long she had been out, and she said since after school. It was 7:30 at the time that I found her. She said that she was hungry, but didn't want to go back home. She told me that her mother was screaming at her and told her to leave... The little girl was 9 years old.

Shocked yet? So was I...

Another car had pulled up by this time, and a woman got out and said that she had seen the little girl about an hour earlier running down the street... (if you're anything like me, you might wonder why she didn't stop her at that time...) This little girl had been wandering around downtown without food, a jacket, water, or a family for up to 4 hours.

Needless to say, we called the police, and as much as I would like to say that he came and saved the day, I don't think that was the case. Sure he is going to intervene, and I would assume that protective services will be involved, probably tonight, but the damage was already done. In the 30 minutes that I was there talking to her, I managed to hear more negative things than anyone should ever have to endure - especially at 9 years old. I heard this beautiful little girl tell me that she was stupid, that nobody loved her, that her mother slapped her and told her to leave and never come back, that she is the oldest of her siblings, and nobody cares about her...that she is ugly, and she doesn't ever want to go back home...

That's a lot for a 9 year old to have weighing on her mind. Don't you think...

I feel bad posting this, and I obviously would never disclose her name, but the reason for my post is this: How many people saw this little girl walking around from street to street, in her little kitty cat t-shirt, and green flip flops, and didn't take the time to stop? THIS LITTLE GIRL WAS IN TROUBLE and NEEDED someone to care. I find it so incredibly disarming to know that for 4 hours, in the cold wind, without a jacket, food or water, that NOBODY thought it strange that she was alone.

When I walked up to her, as scared as she was, she didn't want to let on that she was hurting inside. It wasn't until I gave her a little hug that she finally allowed the tears to well up in her eyes. She was so young, and has seen so much, and just needed help. I can't tell you how many people passed us while we were sitting on the step, with my car parked in a turn lane downtown on one of the main streets, hazard lights on... Not one person asked if we were OK or if we needed any help... Why? I don't have an answer. I wish I did.

I don't honestly know where she was going, and she didn't either. I guess that she thought anywhere was better than where she came from 4 hours prior.

This is scary...for many reasons. I won't go into details... The police officer said she was more than 2 miles away from her home.

I don't know my point of posting this, other than the fact that I am so unbelievably upset with what I saw, and to further say that I am so disappointed in the many people that saw her and didn't think or care to stop.

No, this post has nothing to do with photography, other than the fact that my senior session led up to finding her and hopefully bringing attention to her home situation. What I really want to know is why. Why do people have to do these things to their children? Why didn't she know that she was a beautiful smart girl? Why was she not out playing on her bike, or with friends, or with her family watching a movie and eating popcorn... These things that most people take for granted...the little things...she may never know.

A sad day indeed...

Comments

[Tom Woltjer]

Wow...what a blessing to read this story...it's been said that the first act of love is the giving of attention...which seems so simple but is so easily displaced by the cares of the world...thank you for giving love to this child along with the seeds of hope you planted in her soul...I saw your article in Rangefinder and came to see your photography...hoping to learn a little about how to be a better photographer...you've given me opportunity to be a better person.
God's love is shining through you and your work Brianna...BRAVO!

[Debra]

Wow. I am so touched by your story. The thing is, I am not shocked. Instead I am convicted. I am a very busy mom and work full time - plus more. But I am going to commit to spending more time with my incredible children. Being less frustrated, more patient. Thank you.

[Kathryn]

Brianna,
I just came across your blog while searching for your address...and then I read your "little girl" story. I just wanted to say thank you for stopping. Although there were so many people who did not stop and did not take notice-YOU did. It could have been anyone's child under any circumstance...things might not have been as bad as you discovered them to be...but you were willing to stop and take the time to ask and find out. It takes time to look and pay enough attention to notice when something isn't "right". It takes caring to pull over the car and ask those questions and offer that hug.

As a parent, I just wanted to thank you for paying attention and caring. Thank you for telling this story so that we all might be reminded how important it is to take the time to see these things in our midst.

[Michelle Croson]

Wow! What a sad day indeed. I am speechless and saddened. Thank goodness for compassionate people like you.

[Daniel J Pesta]

Hi Brianna

This is a sad story and there are many like it. I worked with troubled youth at Pine Rest for 4 1/2 years and for Child Protective Services in South Phoenix, AZ before recapturing my love for photography. As sad as this story is, this is light compared with some of the attrocities that are done to children. I have walked into homes where children are handcuffed to chairs, seen sexual abuse investigations that make you want to go out and take vengence, and have seen neglect in its worst forms. This child fits into these categories of severe mistreatment of God's command to love, to not provoke your children to wrath, and to teach them in the ways of God.

The only way to stop this is by staying true to God and obeying His commands to love, release the oppressed, take care of the poor and act out our faith.. There is so much religion in our city but not a lot of true Christianity where people leave their self centered world and actually get out of there cars and busyness and actually allow the Spirit of God to work.

I'm sure many people were afraid to get out of their cars. Maybe they were on their way to get a bite to eat. Maybe on their way to buy some clothes for themselves. There are many ecuses and things that we allow to get in the way that stop us from allowing the Spirit to get us into this type of action.

God loves these children and prompts our hearts into action. Praise God that you did something and met with this child. Praise God that you wrote about your experience. May He lead your heart into more compassionate Christlike service where faith becomes seen.

Thank you for sharing it adds to the quality type of person you are and God will continue to deepen you as you draw close to Him.

Daniel

[Dan]

I am certain she will remember you for her entire life. Stopping for her was the key. Do we stop enough?

[David Akesson]

Brianna,
As sad as that is,... it only will change if people like you continue to do what you did and continue to say what you said in your blog and in local papers and to people in your local church and local community. Eventually local will become wider. But the reality is it starts with what you did.

As an aside, I have a daughter named Brianna who has a heart of gold and who steps out and does the sort of things you did. She was doing it as a 5 year old and now she is 20 she still does it.

DavidA

[Susan Carmody]

wow!
Unbelievable, I am in shock, I was just snuggling my two kids thinking how incredibly lucky I was for them to chose me as their mother!
What a tough life that little soul has to lead, what a world her parents are missing out on.
Thankyou so much for posting this, let us all be more aware of our important and special little people, no matter where or how we meet them!
Cheers,
Susan

[Barb]

I could barely handle reading this.. I cant even imagine how you must of felt. And then... gosh..I am a million miles away from understanding how that little girl must have felt.
All I can say is..thank goodness for you!

[Lu]

What crap! Just total crap. I think like you do in this situation. How many people saw that child and did nothing. I pass no judgement, it is just frustrating. For her, her mother (as we have no idea what set her off), just bad all around. Sorry you had to experience that, but a blessing for her you found her.

[Elizabeth]

Brianna.. I agree it is a sad day that children are made to feel that way.. its horrifying as a parent and as a human that noone would come to her aid.. no-one noticed her walking around inappropriatly dressed for the weather etc.. However I agree with the previous comment YOU DID, I believe alot in fate and that everything happens for a reason.. and I think she was put in your path on purpose.. because you did stop.. because you did take the time to notice her, because you took the time to give that scared lonely little girl a hug.. and I am sure that hug from you will last a lifetime within her. I dont understand a world where people who have children treat them that way.. but the sads truth of it is that they do.. We spent quite a bit of time this summer in the hospital with my eldest son who is 10 and we never left him alone.. someone was always there with him me or my husband, my sons father or grandma or an aunt or a cousin.. there was always a familiar face with him someone he knew and loved and who loved him back.. I cant even begin to tell you the number of children in our local childrens hospital that had noone there for them. no parent or loved one watching over them a nurse to come by and say hello or pick up a scared crying baby for 5 minutes before moving on to the next kid in need.. I was truely dumbfounded.. It sad and makes me angry that anyone would treat children in any of these ways.. how we can change that I dont know.. I wish there was an answer.. however.. Know that you taking the time and pulling over and talking to that young girl made way more of a difference in her life than you will probably ever know. Thank God there are people like you in the world and that you found her and not some psycho nutcase who would of harmed her further. Thanks for being one of those rare and special people in the world who will stop what they are doing to help a scared child in need. We need far more people like you in the world. I have always been inspired by your work.. and now I am inspired by your humanity

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[Danielle Pousette]

Dear Brianna, I have just found your blog, and love your work. That being said, I wanted to respond to your blog tonight. Before I had my daughter, and began staying home, I was a headstart teacher. I can not tell you how often, I encountered this same child, just different stories. How often I took home the feeling of, what can I do more? The image of the child taking tape off my desk, to patch a hole on the bottom of their shoe, or those who were always without a real smile. But what I can say, is that I loved those children, and I did my best to let them feel that. And you can not fool a child, they know what real caring is. So, for what brief time you spent with that little girl, what concern, and caring you gave to her, will stick in some small pocket of her heart. She will think about the fact, that someone did care, someone noticed her, they stopped for her. You were the right person, at the right time. And, it is the small things that plant seeds of hope in children. What you did will make a difference for her, even if its not visible on the outside. Danielle